I know I said earlier that I was going to stop going on and on about vaguely stupid people who say very stupid things on the internet, but I am absolutely fascinated by this blog post.
Basically, if you don’t want to go read the long and boring and very stupid article, here are the main points:
- Birth control is all very very bad.
- The pill is a carcinogen. Like cigarettes. It’s the same thing.
- IUDs are basically just random foreign doodads shoved up into your uterus to make it freak out and stop being such a wonderful nurturing environment.
- Hormonal injections make you infertile forever.
- Getting your tubes tied will give you aphasia (i.e. inability to speak – I fail to see how these things are even a little bit related).
- The rhythm method is awesome and it always works, which is why Catholics are known for such small and happy families.
But the greatest, weirdest, and most interesting point is this one:
Semen acts as an anti-depressant and women who use condoms have higher depression rates than women who do not.
How does this work? Do vaginas have antidepressant receptors on the inside? Can men benefit from the magical power of their own sperm? Should women who find themselves in the midst of a depressive episode go out and ride some cock? Is that the solution?
I mean, some people do that, and I’m told the people who encourage “natural family planning” aren’t actually as encouraging about it as you might think.
April’s birth control method of choice is basically a combination of strict record-keeping with a splash of God’s will, and if that’s what makes her happy, she should go for it. But I really think she should be careful. You can’t just run around telling people their perfectly safe birth control methods are going to give them instant cancer and/or aphasia.
Or depression. I mean, really.
Then again, maybe this just says something about our society: we’re always making up new causes for diseases we don’t really understand. No one’s going to assert that social media gives you measles, because we know how you get the measles.*
But when it comes to diseases that we don’t understand — cancer, autism, depression, even migraines — we love finding an explanation. So much stuff gives you depression! Facebook causes depression. Spaghetti causes depression! Watching cool animated sci-fi movies causes depression!
If it’s all true, my daily routine of waking up, checking Facebook, having sex (with a condom!), and eating a big bowl of pasta in front of a James Cameron film is really fucking me over. Maybe I should reevaluate my life choices.
I think I would be more depressed, though, if I had an STI. Or didn’t have any spaghetti.
*A bunch of kids with the measles can probably blame it on social media, though, given that the crazy anti-vaccine parents like to congregate online and share made-up facts with each other. And then their kids get the measles.
The post condoms are making you depressed appeared first on that girl magazine.
